Final Destination… Again

Moving house is always stressful. Collecting all your things up, leaving fond memories, tidying; it all adds up. However, nobody could have warned me of the withdrawal symptoms and feverish isolation I suffered when I realised that I would be without internet, DVDs and with only a cinema trip to Final Destination 5 for company. Could this dark, horror pulp be my ‘Wilson’ in a time of need?

That’ll be a no.

The film follows the somewhat predictable line of the other Final Destination films in that a group of twenty something college students avoid dying in a major catastrophe only to… umm… die anyway. Thus the whole film is spent predicting the bizarre (and often disturbingly amusing) deaths as they occur.

Strangely, the characters in the film have an almost ‘Seven Dwarves’ quality as each can be summed up by one adjective: there’s creepy, kooky, blondey, gymnast and eyebrows (watch the film you’ll know who I’m talking about), among others . This is largely due to the fact that the cast is too large and spread out to allow you to properly connect with any of the characters: often it feels as though you only really get to know a character in the run-up to their imminent maiming.

Each death is designed to seem like an unlikely accident that could happen to you at any time anywhere; I guess I’m supposed to leave the cinema scared to cross the road incase a screw comes loose in a manhole and I’m hit by an oncoming people carrier that got lost because of water in their Sat Nav. Sadly though this is not the case as the deaths aren’t varied enough. The number of times water and electricity are in direct proximity (this goes for the series as a whole) is frankly incredible, as are the number of loose screws in the world, as are the number of times a professional therapist decides to leave the room mid-treatment. In this installment, in what is literally a shout at the screen moment, an eye surgeon vacates surgery mid-treatment. What?

Having decimated the film however, there is something to be said for the pulpy, sadistic joy of watching an unlikely chain of events maul somebody. There shouldn’t be, but there is. It’s almost like an adult version of Tom and Jerry I guess. It’s like watching the bowling ball roll along the shelf to hit the anvil and waiting for Tom to become a doormat. Somehow like that.

This particular Final Destination is also to be commended because of its ending which I won’t spoil but links in nicely to earlier installments in the series. You’re also able to see the film in 3D which I think might help out with the scares a lot. And whatever you say about Final Destination 5, it’s a lot better than Final Destination 3 .

Callum Haire 

Potential candidate for Final Destination 6?

Image credit – bre pettis