I was recently discussing one of my biggest pet peeves with a friend at work. She was moaning about a friend of hers who was far too flamboyant with her boyfriend, and I was musing about why on Earth couples or individuals feel the need to be so vocal about their overwhelming obsession or love for their other half. It is something that has irritated me regardless of whether I am in or out of a relationship. I just find it highly distasteful to hear sounds akin to someone plunging a sink or unblocking a toilet coming from two pairs of lips, smacking together in carnal lust on the bus or in the middle of the street. It’s as if some couples believe that if they don’t physically glue themselves together by their hands, lips or groin while in the company of others, then they are not deeply in love with each other. Trying to maintain a conversation with people who insist on interacting in this way is nigh on impossible if you want to keep your lunch down or receive any sort of intelligible answer.
However, in a way the PDA is not as bad as the trite that people trot out whenever they find a gap in conversation, or a blink-long pause which they take advantage of to insert some sickeningly dull fact about their beloved. In fact, most of the time they drop facts all together and instead engage in vague proclamations of undiluted affection and devotion: they have never felt this way about anyone before; he is just so wonderful; words can’t describe the connection they have . . . and so on. Some people even go into explicit detail about the many and varied qualities that their partner possesses, to the point that you begin to realise you are far too knowledgeable about a person you barely know. Part of me often wonders whether the person they are waxing lyrical about would mind as their details are carelessly flung around in evidence of the wonderful nature of the relationship. No matter how complimentary, some things are just not appropriate for public information.
The absolute worst habit that these people have is using social networking to express their love and communicate with their lover. Nothing can rival a Facebook post full of hearts and ‘I love you baby!’, as the most pathetic and ridiculous waste of words in the world. In my book this is an instant and irreversible defriending situation. I will not have crap like that cluttering up my news feed. Given how many people are on Facebook and the average number of ‘friends’ people clock up, it is likely meant to gain attention. Frankly, it is strange that some are willing to share such intimate details about their love lives with the online community.
I think what annoys me the most about all of this is that it all seems so fake and insincere. If you are really so in love with someone, wouldn’t you want to be a little more discreet and keep those phrases for the dark of the bedroom? No one else need be subjected to them. It’s just so cringe-inducing that I can’t believe that the people who engage in it aren’t aware of how they sound. Such couples seem to be trying so hard to convince everyone else of their deep and unrivalled love for their other half, while really it appears to be a deluded view of reality. The lady doth protest too much methinks, as that bloke from Stratford once said.
Image Credit: Adrianna Giuliani