In my last article I decided to prove just how much of an ill-tempered and downright horrible person I am, by listing some items of clothing I find truly repulsive. However, for some bizarre reason, it seemed to go down reasonably well – on my last check it had 53 Facebook likes, which I’m pretty sure couldn’t possibly be all from my mum. She doesn’t even have Facebook, for a start… But this time I have decided that, instead of lamenting ugliness, I shall celebrate things I think are fantastic. Because I’m not actually completely miserable. And I do actually, you know, like clothes.
1. Leather Jackets
Here’s an axiom or, if you will, a universal truth. Leather jackets are cool. Cool people wear leather jackets: case point of Marlon Brando in The Wild One. It’s most certainly a well known and extensively researched biological fact that a guy wearing a leather jacket instantly becomes, on average, a million per cent more appealing to the opposite gender. I can’t speak for their effect on the attractiveness on girls, but a quick poll of my male friends seems to resonate with the simple equation “Girls + Leather = Always Good”. That’s where I terminated that conversation.
2. Anything by Alexander McQueen
I’m fairly confident I was not the only one to shed a quiet tear when the late designer passed away in 2010. I can’t dismiss the fact that the moderate quantity of gin consumed beforehand may have had something to do with it, but regardless – the world lost a true great when he died. He created my favourite runway collection ever, A/W 08’s homage to the British Empire, where peacocks and military jackets collided in majestic beauty. Luckily, Sarah Burton has been doing a fantastic job of keeping his legacy going; from that wedding dress to her continuation of the iconic skull motif. Oh, and Dad, if you’re reading – the Golden Swarovski Double Skull Ring from Net-a-Porter would fit perfectly on my chubby finger. I’m already counting down the days until my 21st birthday.
Once upon a time in the 80s, everybody wore Converse. They were comfortable, cheap and actually didn’t look bad. Plus they came in all sorts of colours, and if there’s one thing the 80s loved, it was colour. Then something happened in the early 2000s, and suddenly you had to show receipts for 2 My Chemical Romance albums and at least 3 angsty poems to buy a pair of high tops. Thank God things are back to the way they once were, and baseball boots are on the feet of the masses once more. There is literally nothing better to slip your toes into when you’re running late; stuff the laces inside and go out for a bloody good time. It’s just not the same in heels.
The beauty of a string of pearls is a simple one – they literally suit anyone, of any age. I first started wearing them aged 13, and attracted calls of “aye aye Grandma!” in the corridors at school; but while pearls to them meant someone’s Nan, to me they were a link to Hepburn (albeit a tenuous one). The pale spheres have a magical ability to illuminate even the most dull of days; 2 hours of metaphysics seems just that little bit more bearable when you can revel in the self-delusion that you’re a princess.
5. A Smile!
It’s 3am, my contact lenses have turned to sandpaper and I am honestly struggling to think of another thing I like as much as the four listed above. But seriously, give us a grin. You’ll look nice and it might make me less grumpy. Maybe.
All Images: Wiki Commons