Good music, good wine, good food, and a good outfit – all of the aforementioned can set the tone for a good night, and, if chosen poorly, can make what should be a good night a complete travesty. Movies are of a similar stock. Below you will find a list of the top five movies you definitely should not watch on a date, especially in the early stages of any relationship.
- The Matrix – Unless you’re sure that your date is the sort of person to react well to an intense philosophical discussion immediately following a meaty enough film to begin with, DO NOT watch The Matrix on a date. If you’re anything close to being a sane, reasonable person, you’ll probably agree that Neo should have taken the blue pill. He should have taken the blue pill. Everyone knows he should have taken the blue pill. Likely by a movie date, you will not have the foresight or insight to know if your date is equally sane and reasonable. Is it really worth the risk just for what was (at the time) groundbreaking cinematography and an (admittedly) phenomenal soundtrack? Is it worth leaving your date wondering secretly whether the Matrix is real and you’re actually stuck in some sort of disgusting egg at the mercy of parasitic robots? Is it really worth wondering if you should watch the sequel on your next date? Will there even be a next date?
- Sounder – Though being vulnerable and opening up emotionally over a work of art is arguably one of the most romantic ways to show someone else your softer side, it’s generally suggested not to do this by weeping profusely about racism and a dead dog. Or just the dead dog and what he meant to the boy who loved him so much. Chances are, you’ll have wept all of your mascara into your blouse if you’re a girl, and wept into the collar of your smart shirt if you’re a guy. Point being, you’ll leave with an intense amount of racial guilt, social guilt, human guilt, and just in general, guilt. Guilt is not sexy. Usually.
- Knocked Up – I don’t particularly dislike Katharine Heigl or Seth Rogan, but I think most viewers can agree that a movie about getting pregnant after a one night stand probably wouldn’t set the best tone for a date. Even suggesting a movie called “knocked up” would probably raise a few questions with your date. Even saying the phrase “knocked up” to a prospective date might be a bit of a buzz kill. It’s also not really that funny? Either way, you’d look tasteless; and no one likes to watch a poorly shot comedic birthing scene.
- Jennifer’s Body – Though Megan Fox made for a…charismatic…lead in this dark comedy, people in this movie kill and maim each other with a box-cutter and a pool-skimmer, just to name a few. You wouldn’t want your date to get any ideas if things really go awry! You could easily be stabbed with most items in a cinema, especially after the burst of creativity brought about by any movie. A popcorn bucket. A chair. A beer. A ticket. A knife. Not that most cinemas have knives on hand, but after Jennifer’s Body, you really can’t be too careful.
- Revolutionary Road – Kate Winslet. Leonardo Dicaprio. A young, attractive couple moving into a new house in a new town, based on a beautifully written novel. The American Dream. It seems like the perfect date movie: intelligent, well-shot, easy to talk about and could be used to reminisce about Titanic if you want to reminisce about Titanic (some do), but it is most definitely NOT Titanic 2: A different ending. Well, it could be, but a carefully crafted movie about how a relationship inarguably needed to end and how it ended is probably a bit (a massive understatement) of a turn off. Let’s also not forget that the movie is riddled with adultery, coat hanger abortions, the monotony of suburbia… Despite two beautiful co-stars sharing the screen yet again and what seems to be a perfectly safe and interesting love story, don’t be fooled by Revolutionary Road’s smoke and mirrors. Bad. Not romantic. Good movie, though.
Agree? Disagree? Anything to add to our list? Feel free to comment below!