By John Silence


Find out which sea you should be swimming in this summer with John Silence’s final Trashy Travel Quiz (just in time for May Dip)! Just keep track of the number that corresponds to each of your answers and be prepared for some self-revelation. (p.s wish John luck! He is graduating this year so currently experiencing some ‘Fear and Trembling’)


I. How would you ideally enter the sea?

  1. A high jump from a ledge/cliff
  2. Slowly walking in from a sandy beach
  3. From a series of underground catacombs
  4. With a full scuba kit
  5. Running as fast as you can


II. What is your ideal swimming temperature?

  1. 15 degrees celsius
  2. 25+ degrees Celsius
  3. Around 10 degrees celsius
  4. Don’t mind
  5. Less than 5 degrees celsius


III. What is your favourite marine animal?

  1. Turtle
  2. Dolphin
  3. Preferably none
  4. The most alien possible
  5. Penguins


IV. What is your least favourite marine animal?

  1. Blue ringed octopus
  2. Otters
  3. All of them!
  4. None of them aka I love all animals
  5. Sharks


V. What would be your ideal deep-sea view?

  1. Pebbles, sand, some large rocks and a few shoals of fish
  2. A coral reef! (if any are left)
  3. I prefer to float?
  4. The abyss
  5. Just a huge stretch of empty, bright blue water
  6. How many people would you like to have around?
  7. Enough people to be vibe-y but not too many
  8. Don’t mind a crowded beach
  9. As few as possible
  10. NONE
  11. Only a couple of friends


VII. Underwater music players exist. So pick a song to listen to as you swim:

  1. Tous les Garcons et les Filles – Francoise Hardy
  2. Moonlight Drive – The Doors
  3. Night Swimming – REM
  4. Space Oddity – David Bowie
  5. Cold Water – Major Lazer


VIII. Choose a mythical creature:

  1. Scylla
  2. Mermaids
  3. Moses
  4. Aliens?
  5. Kelpies


IX. Choose a colour:

  1. Royal Blue
  2. Turquoise
  3. Red
  4. Orange
  5. Silver

X. Lastly, choose a book:

  1. The Aeneid
  2. Moby Dick
  3. Dune
  4. The Bible
  5. Twenty Thousand Leagues under the Sea



Image result for the mediterranean sea

Mostly 1’s: The Mediterranean. Lounging on a deckchair on a beach in Italy, France or Spain, with the occasional dip in the sea to look for turtles or show off your new Chanel swimwear. Very classy.


Image result for beach california

Mostly 2’s: The Pacific. Yes, it is an ocean, not a sea but that aside… John Silver recommends the white, sprawling beaches of California or Australia (depending on whether you are in the mood for Mojito’s or coral reefs)


Image result for the red sea moses painting

Mostly 3’s: The Red sea. Salt. History. Ancient vibes. Isolation. Moses?

Image result for the ancient ocean mars

Mostly 4’s: The Ancient Ocean: One of the true mysteries of Mars, proven by NASA in 2015 as having existed 4.5 billion years ago. Also, you are in luck… there are currently competitions open to become of the twenty Mars colonists in 2018. So, all you really need is to do (apart from apply: is to get hold of a functioning time machine.

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Mostly 5’s: The North Sea. You are in the right place already! May Dip will be a breeze…