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Case Study; the bicycle of revelations... 
    
The opportunity to impulse buy in St Andrews is generally (and thankfully) limited; unfortunately it’s not impossible.  My latest impulse buy? A bicycle.  I told myself I needed one, and I did, but there are problems with the bike, my bank balance and the implications.  However, there are several upsides.  Unexpected purchases have led to unexpected revelations about the Bubble, the precariousness of my bank balance and life in general.  The question is, was it worth it?

      Things are never as they seem; initial cost, plus helmet (yet to buy ... dilemma of helmet hair versus concussion) plus lights, locks and general shiny things so motorists can avoid (or target) me.  I feel, though, that this is a somewhat symbolic embodiment of pretty much all of my decisions so far this semester; a series of unfortunate decisions based on lack of thought / knowledge about what I was getting myself into.

      St. Andrews one way system makes absolutely no sense; buying a bicycle not only goes against my cash flow, it also brings me into conflict with traffic flow around town.  This is an unexpected and very unwelcome discovery.  I get the impression that the police force in St. Andrews really doesn’t have anything better to do (unless it’s Raisin Weekend) than a) tag bikes that are left in one place for too long and b) catch cyclists breaking the law.  All routes/shortcuts/timings are therefore currently being reconsidered. 

      Being the proud owner of a not-so-shiny-and-new bicycle has added several new layers of complication to getting around, including, but not limited to: how do I get to X making the least number of left turns possible?

      There is also the additional and unforeseen problem of parking.  And then remembering where exactly I put it.  Unlike a car I can’t walk around clicking my key fob till I see the headlights flashing ... and I can’t for the life of me remember what the thing actually looks like in detail (am considering taking a photo of it just in case ...)

      On the plus side this particular impulse purchase has solved the problem of moving faster than walking pace whilst still sitting down (absolute genius!) and going downhill has never been so fun...

      So, several revelations about me, the bubble and life in general later, I have to say that the bicycle is in the end only a means to an end.  Conclusion ... living impulsively is the only way to live, and at the end of the day if your semester is going rapidly downhill, you might as well have fun... 
 
 
Relationships in St Andrews can be very peculiar. One of the stats about the University is that 50% of grads marry other grads. I remember my first introduction to the University as they sat us all in Younger Hall, the speaker told us to look to the left and the right. One of these two people was going to marry another student from St. Andrews. Now that can’t be entirely normal. I understand it’s a small University and you spend four years with these people, but half its students marrying each other? It all sounds a bit incestuous. 


      All of my friends are coupled off, four of which happened in first year and three of those were within the first two months and two were in fresher’s week. We’re pretty much all still together with very little indication of it ending in the next year. Two of the couples have already lived together and another planning to move in together. Relationships in St. Andrews move at an odd rate. They tend to speed through all the normal getting to know one another phases, the quick break ups, the short relationships and move straight into long-term monogamy. That’s my experience anyway. None of my friends have dated anyone for less than six months since they’ve arrived. In fact, we’ve all seemed to pick one person fairly sharpish and settled down with them immediately. We go on holidays together, some of us spend our summers together (despite being from different countries), live together during the school year. Parents have even met!


      But odd as the relationships are, the singletons are just as bizarre. Despite this being a very small town with plenty of opportunities to bump into failed relationships and one- night stands, it really doesn’t stop people from living it up, big style. A few of my acquaintance-friends are single and I get to see and hear first-hand just what their relationships (and I use the term loosely) are like. Two or three just refuse to have any type of relationship other than friendship and will actively go out of their way to avoid being put in a position of romance with the opposite sex. On the other hand, there are those that reject relationships that are in any shape or form monogamous or long-lasting. 


      I have yet to meet anyone who has had a normal dating life. One with short and long relationships, who have dated a few people without diving in head-first with the first person they’re attracted to or without sleeping around. I’m not sure if this is all normal University behaviour or just peculiar to St. Andrews but I have a feeling it’s the latter, having not heard similar tales from friends in different Universities. But you have to wonder at the reason...is it proximity, size or just bubble-induced insanity?
 
 
Who believes in The One? The One person they’re meant to live the rest of their life with, the perfect complement. Not many people as it turns out. Even within couples, guys and girls don’t believe that The One exists. Is this just because they don’t feel that way about their significant other, or because the idea that for we each have only one person that we’re meant for is a bit silly? Are we lacking confidence in love and happiness or is reality just that different from the ideal?


      I have a friend who doesn’t believe in fate and thinks that’s a vital component of The One. While I do believe in fate, I don’t really think there’s one person I’m meant to be with. There are a variety of people with whom I get along and could have meaningful relationships with, all of whom would complement me in different ways and to different degrees. A person’s love life is made up of decisions, not a series of inevitable events. As the divorce rate increases, currently at 50%, it’s obvious that people can and do make the wrong decisions on their life partners. 


      One friend of mine heartily believes in The One and she believes she’s found him. They’ve almost been dating a year [just a few months short] and have been living together for about just as long. Knowing them, there is one thing you can’t deny, just how sure of each other they are. Looking at the two of them you do have to wonder if The One and ‘you’ll just know’ do exist. Maybe they’re one of the lucky ones, to have found just what they were looking for.


      Another friend also believes in the concept. In fact she believes in it so much she’s found him four different times in the last two years. Unfortunately, he’s turned out wrong each time, for a variety of reasons. The first one was too short, the next wasn’t posh enough, one didn’t want to commit and another had a girlfriend. She still soldiers on despite these setbacks and methinks there’s another on the horizon. For her, she has a mental list of necessary attributes for her special someone and every time a boy ticks the boxes, he’s declared The One, even before they’re in a relationship!


      Belief number four in the compilation of thoughts about The One is that whoever proposes first is The One. My friend is dying to get engaged, not really caring about who she ends up with. Her last boyfriend lasted four years in the hopes that he would pop the question despite her not really liking him. This has to be, by far, the silliest thing I’ve ever heard in the hunt for a partner. Settling is just not the answer.


      So while I’m not entirely sure I believe in The One or the concept of ‘you’ll just know’ [having only met one person to actually say this in relation to their significant other], it is a nice dream, but, it seems, only a dream, or that’s what I’ve found anyway! 
 
 
The gay scene in St Andrews is pretty small, and as a result most people tend to cast their nets further afield in the search for potential partners. My own search has led me down various avenues, such as dating websites and even personal ads on a TV dating channel. However, my experiences of ‘virtual’ dating have not been particularly positive. Websites such as “Gaydar” are filled with people just after sex, weirdos who send pictures of their penis in their first message to you, and men more than double my age looking for sex. However, my foray in to the world of personal ads on television actually started out as a joke. I found it hilarious that a television channel called “1-2-1 Date” actually existed, and reading some of the personal ads on the site was side-splitting. My friends’ dared me to reply to one of the ads, which I duly did, texting my message to the number on the ad. Apparently I was texting a “26year old party animal” but that turned out to be far from the truth. I met this guy at his house, despite the fact that I was probably breaking the number one rule of virtual dating: “always meet in a public place”. First impressions were not good, he looked far older than 26, and being dressing in old tracksuit bottoms and a baggy t-shirt do not fit my mental picture of a “party animal”. After entering his house and telling me he wanted to “suck my toes” I decided it was time to run. Feigning a need to call my friend, I went outside, not before having unlocked the door he had locked behind me ran to my car and drove away. This encounter simply backed up my previous experiences of ‘Virtual’ dating; it might be okay if you’re after a quick shag, but not if you’re after a relationship and it’s certainly not for me.