9 Out of 10 Mathematicians Agree: In Case of Zombie Attack, Aim for the Head
zombies - by bahman
By Gillian Carr
The latest scientific news about the living undead.
Zombies have seen their profile grow over the last few years in pop culture. From the popular faux-guide “Zombie Survival Guide” to “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies”, these undead, shuffling creatures moaning for the living’s brains are hard to avoid these days.
Here’s some of the newest zombie-related scientific news that has been making the rounds recently:
A group of graduate mathematicians from Carleton University and the University of Ottawa in Canada have produced a paper modelling a zombie outbreak: When Zombies Attack!: Mathematical Modelling of an Outbreak of Zombie Infection was published recently in the journal “Infectious Disease Modelling Research Progress”. It looked at a potential outbreak of George Romero’s zombies, ie. The classic, shuffling zombies, as opposed to the fast ones found in 28 Days Later and how such an outbreak would play out. The results were rather sobering – the authors concluded “a zombie outbreak is likely to lead to the collapse of civilisation, unless it is dealt with quickly. While aggressive quarantine may contain the epidemic, or a cure may lead to coexistence of humans and zombies, the most effective way to contain the rise of the undead is to hit hard and hit often.”
In which case, it is important to note the most efficient way to kill a zombie. Common wisdom would suggest the head – so be sure to keep that in mind when making your own preparations. Read the entire paper here - http://www.mathstat.uottawa.ca/~rsmith/Zombies.pdf, and marvel at the geek-love and math that went into these equations.
In an attempt to lighten the mood around Swine Flu preparations, a University of Florida employee decided to include potential plans for another pandemic. He wrote an emergency preparation plan for a zombie outbreak, including tongue-in-cheek comments based on real-life emergency plans such as “The rapid breakdown of civil society and declining numbers of uninfected users may have adverse budget impacts resulting in a reduction in staffing levels;” and noting “Situational work practices such as covering windows, barricading doors, and distinguishing between zombie moans and other moaning encountered in the workplace;”. The action plans are also quite hilarious, including this clause: “Equip all staff with long range (e.g. rifles) and short range (e.g. hand guns) firearms or other weaponry (e.g. chain saws, baseball bats, LPs) for defense against the infected and to dispatch possibly infected co-workers”, which is followed by a form to fill out after having disposed of a zombiefied co-worker. Yes, even with a potential-end-of-the-world zombie outbreak, there is still bureaucracy. Is St Andrews as well prepared as the University of Florida? Read the report here: http://chalkboard.blogs.gainesville.com/files/2009/10/zombieplan.pdf
Let’s hope this next item doesn’t decide to spread to spread to humans anytime soon – a fungus found in Thailand has the ability to affect carpenter ants brains, effective turning them into zombie-ants. The fungus spore will infect an ant, and basically direct it to chomp on leaves in patterns that will benefit the fungus’s living environment. After the ant has done the dirty work, the fungus will direct it some spot of its choosing and the ant will just stay there until the fungus has completely taken over the ant’s body”, killing the insect and then basically exploding out of its exoskeleton to find a new host to take over. Freaky and more than a little creepy, yes?
The latest scientific news about the living undead.
Zombies have seen their profile grow over the last few years in pop culture. From the popular faux-guide “Zombie Survival Guide” to “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies”, these undead, shuffling creatures moaning for the living’s brains are hard to avoid these days.
Here’s some of the newest zombie-related scientific news that has been making the rounds recently:
A group of graduate mathematicians from Carleton University and the University of Ottawa in Canada have produced a paper modelling a zombie outbreak: When Zombies Attack!: Mathematical Modelling of an Outbreak of Zombie Infection was published recently in the journal “Infectious Disease Modelling Research Progress”. It looked at a potential outbreak of George Romero’s zombies, ie. The classic, shuffling zombies, as opposed to the fast ones found in 28 Days Later and how such an outbreak would play out. The results were rather sobering – the authors concluded “a zombie outbreak is likely to lead to the collapse of civilisation, unless it is dealt with quickly. While aggressive quarantine may contain the epidemic, or a cure may lead to coexistence of humans and zombies, the most effective way to contain the rise of the undead is to hit hard and hit often.”
In which case, it is important to note the most efficient way to kill a zombie. Common wisdom would suggest the head – so be sure to keep that in mind when making your own preparations. Read the entire paper here - http://www.mathstat.uottawa.ca/~rsmith/Zombies.pdf, and marvel at the geek-love and math that went into these equations.
In an attempt to lighten the mood around Swine Flu preparations, a University of Florida employee decided to include potential plans for another pandemic. He wrote an emergency preparation plan for a zombie outbreak, including tongue-in-cheek comments based on real-life emergency plans such as “The rapid breakdown of civil society and declining numbers of uninfected users may have adverse budget impacts resulting in a reduction in staffing levels;” and noting “Situational work practices such as covering windows, barricading doors, and distinguishing between zombie moans and other moaning encountered in the workplace;”. The action plans are also quite hilarious, including this clause: “Equip all staff with long range (e.g. rifles) and short range (e.g. hand guns) firearms or other weaponry (e.g. chain saws, baseball bats, LPs) for defense against the infected and to dispatch possibly infected co-workers”, which is followed by a form to fill out after having disposed of a zombiefied co-worker. Yes, even with a potential-end-of-the-world zombie outbreak, there is still bureaucracy. Is St Andrews as well prepared as the University of Florida? Read the report here: http://chalkboard.blogs.gainesville.com/files/2009/10/zombieplan.pdf
Let’s hope this next item doesn’t decide to spread to spread to humans anytime soon – a fungus found in Thailand has the ability to affect carpenter ants brains, effective turning them into zombie-ants. The fungus spore will infect an ant, and basically direct it to chomp on leaves in patterns that will benefit the fungus’s living environment. After the ant has done the dirty work, the fungus will direct it some spot of its choosing and the ant will just stay there until the fungus has completely taken over the ant’s body”, killing the insect and then basically exploding out of its exoskeleton to find a new host to take over. Freaky and more than a little creepy, yes?